Friday, July 29, 2011

Gay Weddings: Is There a New Etiquette?


Award-winning actress, author and activist
Posted: 7/28/11

You know that moment we all look forward to at a wedding -- when the bride comes down the aisle and, for the first time, we get to see that beautiful white dress? How magical that moment always is.

Well, it's even more magical when there are two white dresses.

I experienced this for the first time when my niece, Tracy, married the love of her life, a woman also named Tracey (only hers has an "e"). At that moment, as I looked at their radiant faces, I remembered seeing Tracy, age 8, singing along to the record of Free to Be...You and Me. And I couldn't help but think, at last, Tracy is truly free.

For all of us who have long supported same-sex marriage, the depth of the justice of it all has never hit home for me as it did when I saw the these two dear, young women exchange their vows.

And everything was the same: the little kids giggling and running underfoot; the proud moms and dads wiping away a tear; the distant uncle sitting by himself, happily having one drink too many; and, as always, someone sneaking an early piece of the cake.

Now in New York, this historic ritual is being celebrated with a new and liberating joy. And while the ceremony at the heart of these weddings is no different from any other we've ever witnessed, many people have asked if there's any special etiquette that guests attending a gay wedding need to know -- such as "Will I insult the couple if I ask what they're going to call themselves -- like husband and husband or wife and wife?"

According to Steven Petrow of GayManners.com and author of Steven Petrow's Complete Gay and Lesbian Manners, "Not at all! Intention is a big part of manners, so you don't have to worry so much about making a faux pas. If you don't know how to refer to a couple, just ask.

Posted by SuzyQ at 10:14 AM

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